We’ve all been through it.
You finally get the courage to share that new thing you made and love. A new product, a painting, a blog post.
Then someone drops a rude review, a snarky remark, or a “helpful” critique that hits way harder than it should.
Cue a days, sometimes weeks-long emotional hangover. And suddenly you’re on the couch replaying it in your head and mentally drafting your exit from the internet, your shop, and maybe your whole online life.
I call that a post-feedback funk.
A creative slump.
It’s that “state of meh” you drop into after harsh feedback where you start questioning everything.
Your art. Your shop. Your ability to human.
The temptation to delete everything and disappear is strong.
If you’re an artist, writer, or all-around sensitive human, it doesn’t take much to slide straight into a full creative slump. Especially if your brain runs on big feelings, rejection sensitivity, or garden-variety neurospice.
The pain in your emotional rear end is totally valid, but you don’t have to let it knock you down permanently.
Here’s how I walk myself through a post-feedback funk and back into making things again.
Vent to an understanding ear
There’s a difference between complaining and venting. They’re both examples of bitching about something, but one is negative and detrimental, and the other has the power to be healing and motivating.
Complaining is bitching about something and never doing anything to fix it. Venting is bitching about something for the purpose of getting it off your ass and out of the way so you can do something about it.
So get after it. Find someone you can unload your post-feedback funk on.
Tell them what happened and why it got under your skin.
If your brain goes blank when you try to talk about it, that’s fine too. Start with “something about this really got to me” and work your way toward the details.
If you’re not comfortable sharing the situation, grab a notebook or your favorite notes app and write it down instead.
When you’re done, you get to decide what to do with it. Keep it, shove it in a drawer, shred it, or burn it.
Now that your mind is clear, you can go back to whatever you were trying to accomplish before someone or something knocked you down.
Let the creative slump flow through you
Sometimes we get so involved with everything else going on that we forget to actually feel our feels.
Take a few moments to examine why you’re in a funk.
Are you jealous? Hurt? Frustrated? Angry? All of the above and more?
Acknowledge your feelings, then remember you can’t control what other people do.
The only thing you have control over is your reaction.
Are you going to sit around stewing over things you can’t control, or get back up and move forward in control?
Moving forward doesn’t have to mean fixing your whole life in an afternoon. It might look like:
- Taking a short walk and then finishing the listing you were working on
- Tweaking one photo or line of copy that you agree could be better
- Closing the tab with the shitty review and drawing for twenty minutes just for you
Small steps might not feel like much in the moment, but even they move you forward. So choose something that supports you and your work, instead of letting the funk choose for you.
Know that you probably learned (or are learning) something
When I sit and think about the times when I learned the most, I can tell you it wasn’t from school or taking an online class or from reading a book.
I learned the most valuable lessons from having my ass handed to me by life.
No one likes being taught a lesson the hard way, but I can’t think of one bad situation I regret, because I chose to learn from them.
Every shitty situation I’ve been through has brought something good into my life that wasn’t there before. And I don’t have to like the way it showed up to admit it changed me.
No, it wasn’t always immediately apparent. Sometimes it took years to realize the benefits, but opening yourself up to the possibility that a craptastic situation can make way for something good helps you work through it.
Every time something crappy happens to you, try to identify at least one thing it taught you. Then use that thing to grow and be a smarter, more open, more resilient human being.
If writing helps, keep a simple list somewhere of “things I only learned because something sucked.”
On your next challenging day, you’ll have proof that hard moments give you something useful (even when they felt pointless at the time).
Pick one small thing that keeps you from abandoning yourself
After you’ve cried, ranted, and stalked around the kitchen a few times grabbing fistfuls of shredded cheese, do one little thing for your creative self.
I don’t mean rebuild your whole shop or come back with some big dramatic plan. Pick one thing that reminds you that you still love to make stuff.
That might be:
- Making marks on a page in your sketchbook with a set of pens or paints you’ve never used before.
- Fixing a sentence on your website that’s been bugging you for a while.
- Grabbing one item you’ve made in the past and handling it for a minute, noticing textures, colors, and little details you love about it.
- Putting on your favorite song and moving your body a little (even if it’s just chair dancing.)
It doesn’t need to be impressive or something you show the internet. It just has to be something that shows your brain that making stuff is safe.
Do one of those things and let that be enough for now. You came back to yourself for a few minutes, and that’s worth more than whatever some stranger on the internet had to say.
When something knocks you on your ass, you get to decide what to do with it.
You can sit there and doomscroll for days, or you can grab whatever it taught you and take one step in the direction you want to go.
You’re not the only one who feels like bailing on everything after one negative comment. You’re in crowded company, even if it feels like you’re the only one falling apart over it.
So the next time life hands you an extra soggy shit sandwich, toss that bad boy in the trash and start building your own sandwich with your favorite ingredients, and make the world watch you eat it.
Still here? You must be drawn differently.
This is the part where I’m supposed to remind you there’s a newsletter, but let’s skip the pitch.
If you’re someone who’s still trying to figure out how to be a creative human after years of being told to be a productive one, Neurospicy Creative Collective might be your kind of space.
